“Leaning on family, especially our children, isn’t just about finding strength – it’s about gaining perspective. They simplify what we tend to overcomplicate, showing us paths we may have overlooked.”
This year, I’m ending on a more reflective note. 2024 was challenging on so many levels – personally, professionally and emotionally. Instead of looking outward at achievements and milestones, I find myself turning inward, reflecting in a more holistic way on what truly matters: family, language and the cultures that shape us, anchor us and help us grow.
Language, especially our native language, is more than a tool for communication. It’s a vessel – a carrier of culture, history, memory and identity. As parents raising multilingual children, it’s about so much more than teaching vocabulary. It’s about helping our children build bridges to their cultural heritage, fostering a (deep) emotional connection to their identity and showing them how to value this part of themselves. In many ways, it’s also about helping them befriend a part of their emotional self through language and culture.
But let me be honest: I’ve struggled with this myself, resisting my own advice. I’ve spent years encouraging parents to connect with their communities and lean on their heritage for strength. I’ve advised them to create a network of support because trying to pass on your home language as a one-person show is nearly impossible, especially as children grow and their world expands. And yet, while I’ve been saying all of this to others, I was the one avoiding it. I built walls around my own community. So, a bit of a double standard, if I’m being honest.
Whether it was intentional or just something that happened along the way, I spent the better part of my 24+ years abroad distancing myself from my heritage and my roots. I told myself I had way too much baggage, was too busy, that it wasn’t necessary or that I didn’t quite fit in anymore. I didn’t belong. The truth? Reconnecting felt overwhelming and, honestly, a little terrifying. We don’t talk enough about how hard it can be to (re)build those connections, especially as we get older. Whether you’ve distanced yourself by choice or out of necessity, the journey back often feels like a mountain you’re not ready to climb. It’s deeply personal and, at times, utterly paralysing.
This year, though, everything changed – and I couldn’t be more grateful.
It started with my children, especially my 9-year-old son, who told me he felt uncomfortable not being able to read or understand more when we visited Bulgaria. He wanted to learn to read and write in Bulgarian. That simple, heartfelt wish of his became the push I needed. Watching his curiosity and determination sparked something in me that I hadn’t felt in years.
What I realised was this:
Our children often lead us where we need to go.
Even when they don’t fully understand our heritage, they can guide us back to it. My son’s desire to connect with his roots reminded me that language isn’t just about words – it’s about belonging, about finding strength in our shared stories and about ensuring our culture lives on in our children’s hearts and minds.
This year, I’ve also had the privilege of meeting incredible people in the Bulgarian community – parents, educators and advocates – who are just as determined as I am to preserve for and pass on our heritage to the next generation. These connections have been eye-opening and healing. They reminded me of the power of community, not just for our children but for us as parents and caregivers too.
Why your home language matters.
Home language development is about so much more than maintaining fluency – it’s the foundation to fostering a deeper connection to culture and identity. We’ve explored this topic many times (check out – From Words to Roots: Tackling the Top 5 Challenges of Sustaining Family Languages, Why do Bilingual Families Need a Personalised Family Language Plan? or Promoting home language use: How do we make a difference?) Here’s why it’s worth prioritising:
1.It strengthens cognitive and social skills: Multilingual children develop stronger cognitive flexibility when the home language continues to be developed. But the benefits go beyond academics. Knowing their home language allows children to navigate their cultural settings with confidence and ease, giving them an edge in an increasingly globalised world.
2. It preserves cultural identity: A heritage language is a living bridge to traditions, values and history. It allows children to understand and carry forward the stories of those who came before them. Without it, they risk losing touch with a vital part of who they are.
3. It boosts self-esteem: It instils a sense of achievement and pride in children. It reinforces the message that their unique, multilingual identity is valuable and worth celebrating. And that’s really empowering, letting them ebrace who they are fully.
4. It creates emotional connections: Language is a bridge to relationships. A home language connects children to grandparents, extended family and communities. These relationships offer them an understanding of who they are and where they come from, providing them with a sense of belonging.
5. It builds pride in diversity: Raising a bilingual child teaches them to embrace and celebrate differences. To see it as a strength. By learning their heritage language, they develop a sense of pride in their culture and are more likely to share it confidently with others. This mindset has the power to promote inclusivity, understanding and an appreciation for differences – values the world certainly needs A LOT more of.
6. It boosts academic development: Proficiency in the majority language of school instruction is instrumental for educational success – no doubt about it. However, what many don’t know or doubt is that a solid base in the home language positively influences the process of second language acquisition which, in turn, leads to (Drumroll, please!) better academic performance. It’s a ripple effect that enhances learning across the board.
7. It paves the way for future opportunities: One perk that can sometimes be forgotten or underestimated is that, for families considering a return to their home country, fluency in the home language ensures a smoother transition. Even for those staying abroad, being literate in their home language can qualify children for additional credits, specialised courses or university programs. One family I worked with this year was quite focused on this aspect for their boys and we discovered that some universities in one of the parents’ home country offered unique programs for bilingual students, giving their children a significant advantage as they were aiming to develop basic to academic literacy skills in this language.
8. It helps with learning additional languages: A strong home language helps develop concept knowledge, which is a fantastic foundation when learning another language. In addition, it fosters metalinguistic awareness – an understanding of how languages work. This awareness means they start recognising patterns, structures and even the rules within each language they use, making it easier to acquire additional languages. It’s like giving them a secret weapon for language learning, one that sets them apart as they grow.
“Our children often lead us where we need to go. Even when they don’t fully understand our heritage, they can guide us back to it.”
How to nurture the connection between language and culture
One question I’ve got recently from a parent is: “How do I make sure that when my child is growing up with more than one language, their journey is more than just about the language? How do I help them understand and learn to love our cultures too?”
These are such valid and heartfelt considerations. Why? Because, as I’ve said before, raising children with more than one language is never “just” about the language. Watching my son attend a Bulgarian heritage language school and opening up to a part of myself I thought I’d long lost has been transformative. It reminded me that language is not just a tool – it’s a lifeline to who we are and where we come from. Here’s how you can nurture this connection for your own family:
1.Embed culture into everyday activities: Everyday moments are an opportunity to connect language with culture. For example, cooking traditional dishes together, sharing food, talking about it and engaging all senses in the process – tasting, smelling and even hearing stories about or around this particular dish – makes learning memorable and more fun. Sharing (family) stories, folk tales or traditional music / songs creates emotionally rich experiences that leave lasting impressions. The goal? Make it fun, engaging and something your child looks forward to.
2. Create real-life cultural immersion: Create / seek opportunities for real-life cultural experiences – exposure to authentic cultural experiences is key to creating lasting impressions. Celebrate holidays at home; connect with the community and participate in events. Truth is that children thrive when they can see their language come alive in authentic situations. It creates a tangible sense of connection that has the power to stick with them well into adulthood.
3. Balance both cultures in everyday life: Here’s the dream: creating harmony between cultures rather than competition for space (and airtime). The minority language shouldn’t feel like a chore or obligation – it should be a natural part of your family’s rhythm. Make it a byproduct of activities you’re already doing rather than framing it as a “must”. When both cultures are celebrated equally, children won’t feel pressure to choose one over the other. This approach sends a clear message: their cultures are meant to coexist harmoniously and are both integral to who they are. They are complementary pieces of their identity.
4. Foster emotional connections through relationships: This is my favourite, but don’t tell anyone! 😉
Language is so much more than correct grammar and vocabulary – it’s a tool to build connections with others, to belong. And we humans need that connection to survive and thrive. Encourage your child to build relationships with grandparents, older relatives or community members who speak the minority language. They have a lot to share to enrich their cultural experience and help them build a bridge to their heritage. Help them see language as a bridge to those relationships.
What 2024 taught me: 10 powerful lessons for the year ahead
- Your home language is your child’s first anchor to identity.
- Your home language is a bridge not a barrier.
- Your home language deserves a permanent place at the table.
- Preserving your home language requires action not just intentions.
- Your home language is the thread that holds stories together.
- Embracing your heritage builds confidence in your children.
- Connecting to your heritage is not just for your children – it’s for you too.
- Connection is a lifelong journey, not a destination.
- Vulnerability is the path to growth because it often emerges from the most uncomfortable places.
- Your children can be your best teachers.
Moving into 2025
My friends, if you’re still reading, thank you. I truly appreciate you taking the time to reflect with me.
For anyone struggling to reconnect with their community or heritage, take heart – it’s not always easy, but it’s worth it. Whether you’ve distanced yourself out of necessity, survival or a conscious choice, know this: your heritage is still a part of you. Sometimes, the push to find your way back comes from the most unexpected places – like your children.
As I look back on 2024, I’m carrying one more lesson into the new year: our heritage needs to be actively preserved, not just for our children, but for ourselves. By embracing our language and culture, we teach our children to love and value their roots – and we rediscover our own in the process.
💬 How has this year challenged or inspired you to connect with your heritage? I’d love to hear your story – let’s reflect together in the comments.
Title photo by cottonbro studio on pexels.com
