Over the weekend I came across a fantastic reflection on the OPOL (One Parent, One Language) approach of language management at home and I just knew I had to share it with you all.
You know how OPOL is often called THE “golden standard” of bilingual parenting? Well, as we’ve said before, it’s not always that simple (if ever). Perhaps just the opposite.
Sure, OPOL is clear, structured and helps kids get steady exposure to their home and/or heart languages. But here’s the real question – what happens when a parent decides to pass on / develop a language that doesn’t quite feel like their own? One that doesn’t quite feel like home? What if, instead of strengthening the bond between parent and child, language starts to feel like a barrier rather than a bridge? When conversations feel a little less natural, a little more forced – when something just doesn’t quite click? I have a personal story (and plenty more thoughts!) on this, but I’ll save that for another post.
That’s exactly what Kevin M. Wong 黃浩文, Associate Professor and TESOL Chair at Pepperdine University, explores in his reflection – and he nails it. His take? OPOL works best when the language a parent speaks feels natural – when it allows them to connect, joke, discipline, comfort and just… be themselves. Because language isn’t just about words – it’s about how we show up for our kids.
This part really hit home for me:
👉 “The guiding voice meant to teach and correct can sound harsher than intended, stripped of the softness that makes a child feel safe enough to listen.”
Oof. If that doesn’t sum up why heart languages matter, I don’t know what does.
At the end of the day, bilingual parenting isn’t about checking boxes or following rigid rules – it’s about raising kids who feel connected, secure and seen in all their languages. Because what sticks with them most isn’t just which language we use – it’s how those languages make them feel.
And right at the heart of it all (pun fully intended!) are the languages that feel like home. Because how do you build a house without laying the foundation first?
💡 If you’ve ever wondered whether OPOL is the right fit for your family or if you’ve felt guilty about not sticking to it perfectly – reach out and let’s have a chat! But one way or another, this is a must-read.
🔗 [Link to Blog by Kevin M. Wong]
So, how do you approach languages at home? Do you follow OPOL? Mix? Use another approach? Go with the flow? Drop a comment and let’s chat! 👇😊
Title image by Photo by Ivan Samkov on pexels.com
